Smoper Fried Movie

Walking down my street, I do see some sites that constantly remind me I'm in Korea. The lettering, the large numbers of Korean people. (It's like they live  here.) However, my favorite reminder are the shop signs. There's a Papa Smurf all in green body paint and and a sign proclaiming Smoper Chicken. I lurve Korean pronunciation, I lurve associating Smurfs with Fried Chicken and I love this sign. I want to make sweet smoper to that smoper and smoper the hell out of anyone smopering my smopering.

As  an ELT teacher, I am awed and frightened by the ability to substitute any adverb, adjective, verb, noun at will with 'Smurf'. Well done, you cheeky little Avatars.

Walking down the street, I see bars called BMW, Porsche Volkswagen and a motel called Volvo. Apparently, after drinking has been recklessly associated with driving, you want to get your head down somewhere safe. 1980s Soccer Mom safe.  Did South Korea forget about copyright law, or am I missing something?

Ah, that's what I want to think about when I get sleepy. Sidenote, 1980s mothers were awesome see.here.

I could devote the entire post to the glory of these store signs. I am very tempted. I am so Smopering tempted, I really am. However, as an ELT ex pat teacher in South Korea, I think we should talk about the real issues.  After all, if we don't talk about it, how can we improve the situation? So, illegal downloading for a thousand please, Alex.

"I'm assuming it will involve a joke about your mother, Trebek."

In 2010, a very limited sample size of 8,500 people from 13 countries ( this sounds like its pathetic, no joke, I know more people than that in Daegu) showed South Korea was n0.2 in people who admit to downloading music for free. 60% of respondents went 'Yep, I totally did not pay for this.' The argument is they may have been listening to only snippets of songs so it's totally allowable under Korean Law. Um, what's that now?

30 seconds to a minute is just the tip of illegal downloading.

Ask people about downloading illegally in South Korea and you'll likely hear something like, "dude, it's fine. Just go toblahblahblah.com. Korea doesn't care." I thought that too. Then I read this back issue of The Economist. It states South Korea has THE TOUGHEST ANTI-PIRACY LAWS IN THE WORLD.
 

Say it with Brian Blessed's voice. Hell, say everything  in Brian Blessed's voice. Swoon.

So, what the hell, Korea? You are one of the most wired countries in the world. You have anti piracy laws but everyone (apparently) is downloading for free.

"
The dominant perception among many Koreans is that any downloading activities without the copyright owner’s permission is considered “illegal.” In fact though the Copyright Act of South Korea recognizes that reproduction of copyrighted works for private use is regarded as “fair use” under Article 30 of the Copyright of Act. Article 30 the Copyright Act states:

“A user may reproduce by himself a work already made public for the purpose of his personal, family, or other similar uses within a limited circle, not for profit purposes: provided that this shall not apply to reproduction by a photocopier set up for public use.”

Examples of reproduction for private use could include: recording TV drama to watch later, copying part of a textbook and converting a CD to MP3 for personal use. Downloading a movie from the Internet for private viewing is also protected under Article 30."


That little snippet is from free government info. If that's the case, then enjoy.

By the way, I am not condoning video piracy. I believe people should get paid for working and the Movie Industry are getting stiffed, which has all sorts of economic implications for the viewing public. This moment is not about that. I just want to know two things. One, is it illegal to download something in one country when it is made in another country where it is illegal? Two, If it is legal, why the hell do individual countries continue to exist when the Internet  connects everyone and circumvents national statutes?

I don't have all the answers. But I am adorable.

I guess it comes down to no follow through. If you break the law, there should be a punishment. When American laws fail to get the RIAA a final court settlement after Years of hounding Ms. Thomas-Rassett, it can assumed that it becomes prohibitive to pursue an individual downloading for their own perusal and pleasure. I can only imagine this situation will change in the future but, for now at least, illegal downlaoding will continue. As the vagueness of the Korean Government and Film Industry intentions and policies proceeds. let me leave you with this. Just Smoper it.

Korea, you glorious bastard.

P.S. I get I used these images and videos illegally. I get the irony.<----Am I using that word right?

Cherryblossoms and Seder Plates

When you hear a good story, you rarely check out the validity. Even in a world filled with wireless encyclopedias and snopes.com, if the story is interesting people are content to let the story lie. This is not that kind of story. I insist you check out details and get to the bottom of the story. Assuming you can. With that proviso, let the conscious streaming begin.

This week sees two events occurring in my life. As a Jew, we got Passover. A festival commemorating the enslavement of the Jewish people in Egypt, and celebrating the freedom of said slavery. The other event is the blooming of the Cherryblossom in South Korea celebrating a bunch of trees having flowers for about a minute.

If you're Jewish, to know the festival of Passover is to know the Four cups of wine, the four questions, the dry mouth hell of matzah crackers and the ridiculously long service hours with nothing more than parsley in salt water and an egg to keep us going. Truly, we are a people that suffer.

I cannot believe I just typed in 'Jews Crying' My rabbi was SO right about me..

If you're an expat in Korea, welcome to the Hellmouth. The long walks down Cherryblossom Lane, Your Town will be filled with thousands of other people. Your loved one will want to Instagram the shit out of every bloody branch. It will last far too long. There will not be parsley nor egg. Truly, as a people expats suffer. Then, the blossoms will drop and get mushy and cake your shoe and it will be AWFUL. 

Gah!

 Not slavery in Egypt awful, or bondage to Japanese oppressors awful but still, I mean, it's gross.Hang on, how am I segue-way ing into the Japanese? Because, as we all know in our hipster, geek glasses nose pushing way, the Japanese planted the cherry blossom in Korea.

"I believe the debate is about  Prunus × yedoensis. No Big Deal."

The Japanese as part of their colonialist process would plant cherry blossoms. They did so all over the country and often in key, sacrosanct locations. They went on to introducing watching the cherry blossom to the ROK.I mean, while they did other, more terrible things. Ask your co teacher.

"Wait, wait, WAIT! The Japanese did WHAT to Korea?"

The cherry blossom has been used in the past a massive symbol of Japanese Militarism. Souls of soldiers were compared to the blossom and kamikaze pilots would have the flower painted on the side of the plane. Between the Rising Sun logo and the cherry blossom, the Japanese military had more choices than the Nazis and their swastikas.

I looked up Google images of Nazi uniforms to make a joke. I couldn't do it. Here's a puppy though. PUPPY! The safety net of blogger journalism.

My perspective as a Western Jew to this process is fairly knee jerk. When you are raised to 'never forget' a phrase that Autocorrect just changed to 'beer fur get' incidentally, it's good to be reminded. It's good to be reminded just how many different groups of people have suffered through the hands of another race. How their occupation and enslavement was not thousands of years ago but decades or even less.

I'm talking to you, World.

As the Jews have their Seder Plate, rites and rituals carefully handed down, so too the Koreans with their trees. So, enjoy your walk. Just Never Forget.
 

And again, puppy.Also, the next one will be less sanctimonious. I promise.

The Day And The Night

The world is split.  Man and Woman. Young and old. Rich and poor.  Us and them.  You and me.  In Korea the teacher crew is split in one distinct line.  Day walkers and  Night walkers. 

Regardless if wrong for this blog, this would be a fun battle. For about five seconds.

EPIKers, kindergarten and university types own the sun.  They keep hours our parents can understand, even if they can't understand time zone differences.  They wake up along with most of the Korean nation and sometimes go to sleep earlier than they ever did in their adult life.

How I sometimes imagine EPIK deskwarming could be.

The night walking shuffling masses of the hagwan arena rarely open their eyes fully before three in the afternoon. They might be walking around, they may make conversation but trust me, they are rarely conscious before their fifth cup of coffee.  And when they go home they think nothing of eating dinner at one in the morning.  And seeing the wrong side of sunrise is a regular occurrence. On a Wednesday night.

Thursday Morning. Like a boss.

To each tribe, the other is alien. Making friends across this divide is fraught with peril.  And, yes, trusted reader, I hear your inner monologue murmuring dissent. "Alien? Fraught? Where does he get off, making it seem like it's worse than a Capulet-Montague kegger. If the Montagues were old money and the Capulets were Jews."

Juliet! You COWARD!

First off turn off that inner monologue.  It has no place here. Second, hear me out.  Friendships start out easy enough. You meet at a bar downtown, or an event, or a sports 'thing'. I don't know how you make friends.
You hit it off finding you have just so much in common. You share interests and goals and visions.  You finish your platonic night together and walk off happily, knowing you just made a new friend. 

As Brian left Russell that night, he never realized he had just been Friendzoned.

However, you find that during the week it's like you are missing out on their social life.  Facebook trawling lets you see that they are doing things ( curse them!) without you. Day Walkers have the option here to at least have a late night. Staying out until two in the morning is a big deal if you are up at seven the next day. Night Walkers do not get that. At all. Two in the morning is equivalent to their happy hour. That is when things start to happen.  Going home to sleep is almost like, I don't know, giving up. 

Man, girls are just dicks to their sleepy friends.

And for a Night walker to get together with a Day walker is practically impossible. By the time Day Walkers finish work, Night Walkers are in the middle of their work day. Planning a lunch together takes military precision that even Camp Walker would find impressive. And even then it is only a scant moment together before the daywalker heads back into the work camps.

"Please stay a little longer." "Dude, BOUNDARIES!"

So, I issue this warning. When you meet your weekend friends, love them dearly. Just accept that for almost 72% of your time in Korea, you cannot hang out. And if that is not good enough for you, you should stick to your own time zone. 

Math is key to Friendship.Ask anybody. Anybody.

Then again, that is still infinity% more time than you can spend with your friends and family back home. So maybe I should just shut the hell up.

Goddam kids

This is how old I feel, writing this.

They just don't build foreigners like they used to. 

The last three years has seen a massive influx of foreigner teachers and boy howdy, the quality control has been low. Some have been awesome. Some have been awful though. Just...awful.



From bar fights that break out into the street to the bitching over working 15 hours a week, new foreigners are ruining the reputation of those that came before. More importantly, they are destroying opportunities for future prospective teachers. 

How I feel seeing young men fight nowadays.Calm down, children. There are drinks for everybody.

N00bs don't care that their actions represent foreigner teachers as a whole. They don't feel a part of a collective, unless its as part of negative profiling. Then they circle the wagons and have a bitching session about everything wrong with Korea and Koreans.

"Did you hear how they are making me stay at work and not do anything ? THE BASTARDS!"

Why should they care? As far as they are concerned, Korea is set up perfectly for them. They don't have to worry about medical insurance. They don't have to worry about housing. They don't have to worry about teaching. They have it made.

"Dear Mom and Dad,Please send more Salt and Vinegar Crisps."

Of course they have it made. It was made by the blood, sweat and tears of those who came before them. The framework of foreigner society is something that took an ice age of careful diplomacy. All those publications, Facebook groups, societies, and social clubs took more than just zeal and enthusiasm. They needed to work through the logistics.

Think of how hard Marty Nedjelski busts his hump, or Jason Palmer and Doug Karalius work hard for those sports societies to have their fields. Think about Craig White, Jess Hinshaw and Scott Fuzion,
perhaps competitors now but still, working to create more opportunities within Daegu society for expression.

Marty's the short blonde one. Save the Marty, Save the world.

N00bs at this point are like, "who?" right now. I'll tell you. They are all examples of people who had to tread softly and make nice with an intractable infrastructure, found ways to open it and to work within it and help open the doors for those who came after. And those after.

Now it seems like foreigners can travel halfway around the world just to carry on the social life of a frat boy, of a zef, of a chav. Get drunk, fall asleep, eat pizza, and repeat. When your Korean cultural acceptance extends to only Soju, makeolli and SamGim sal, you make all of us look bad. 

Although he had never heard of Makeolli, he was sure he missed out on something.

So I'll say this for the new crew. You're here to experience culture. You're here to work. You're here to grow. You're here for a bloody good time. Good for you. While you're here, you're a representative. Of your race. Of your culture. Of your fellow TEFLers. Of me.

Have a great year. It could be your best. 

 Next up, Veterans and their inflexible viewpoints......