I have not gambled now for 100 days. It is a big deal for me. I am slowly changing the algorithm on my YouTube preferences from wsop poker show reruns to Tales from the River Cottage cooking shows. My nights end with TV shows, not free roll tourneys. My life is more boring yet a lot more fulfilling.
My friends have been supportive. They are completely against me gambling, except of course, for some gamblers. However their support structure has shown me something key.
Gambling is not a sexy addiction.
When I tell people I stopped gambling, the overwhelming response was 'good! Gambling's stupid, pass the chicken.' My friends eat a lot of chicken.
Imagine that response if I said I had an addiction to crack. 'Yeah, yeah, whatever, crack. Shut up and pass the lamb chops.' In this alterniverse my friends dig lamb.
It's the Assumption I'm alright. The assumption that a decision has been made and that everything is done with. You wouldn't think that of an alcoholic or a smoker. You wouldn't think a meth head will be fine to be left alone with cash on a Friday night and make responsible decisions.
So why is gambling put in this boat? It's not sexy. It's not substance abuse. It doesn't damage your body, unless you count pulling all nighters at the casino as a thing. It's a dude losing his money. It's silly, it's harmless, it's fun.
It's sporting. Poker made a bid to be counted in the next Olympics which is o course hilarious. But TV spots and sporting personality sponsorship deals has conferred a legitimacy to a game where statistically, 98% of online cash belongs in 1% of the players' pockets.
It's a dream. Getting something for nothing. And yes, most players are out for a jolly good time and they know they are never going to land a big score, they know they will probably dust off their cash in their wallet. But there's the thought of five 7s lining up, of hitting pocket jacks on flopped trip aces and winning a Bad Beat Jackpot, of winning it all.
So when you tell these people you're not good with gambling, that you have a problem with it, they see it skewed. They see it through their eyes. They think you had a bad run, or are having gambler's remorse. The fact is, I could go on a winning spree online playing tournaments and not sleep until the cash games took it all away again.
My friends think I'm 'good' at poker. Some of them think I'm 'bad' at poker. I think cards and chips mean nothing to me at the table. It is purely the rush of playing. It's all I crave and win or lose, I want more and more.
One drink is anathema to alcoholics, one more hit a bullshit line for a crackhead. So when I say to my friends I quit gambling, why do they ask me when the next game is? Keeping lighters in the house can be all a smoker needs to start up again, why are my friends chatting about their winning sessions in the casino to me?
I thank everyone for the support. Lets keep this train rolling. By the way, wsop started again this year. I am not watching it. I'm not listening to the four different podcasts available for it. Poker rats and full tilt remain off my computer and iPhone. My wsop cigar ashtray has mysteriously disappeared and my friend's poker chips are with another friend.
I'll probably slip at some point. That's statistics. But until I do, I'll just keep playing games of crazy eights, asshole, beer pong and of course Ne'er Ever have I ever.
Peace.
