A bold new initiative will see Ex-Pat TEFL teachers being replaced by a series of department store mannequins. The Happy Happy Sunshine English Yippee! School, based in Beomeo, is excited with the new venture. Five used mannequins are to cover all classes starting from the beginning of the Spring semester. The school Principal, Park Tae Hoon, was well pleased with the decision. "Foreign teachers are notorious for only being at work during their contracted hours. These bad boys will stay at the school 24 hours ad infinitum. They don't need an apartment, or a phone, or vacation. Plus they are fully poseable, which is great fun and, er, useful in the classroom."
Students will work on their own and then mark each other while the mannequin, dressed in a range of clothing yet to be selected, looks on. The Director was keen to stress the mannequins would look western. "Parents and prospective parents really want their children to learn English from something that
looks like it could speak it naturally. " said Park. "Assuming they could speak. Which, obviously they can't, which makes staff meetings a lot more efficient".
Students at the school were not surprised by the director's decision, some of whom claimed surprisingly to be a result of cutting costs. "He has wanted to save money ever since he first started working here and made us clean the classrooms before studying," said one anonymous Third Grader. "He hides the toilet paper and charges us for each sheet we want. Before we go in, mind you, so we have to plan quite far in advance. Four first years have already pissed themselves".
Principal Park responded to these allegations, assuring the wellbeing and education of minors was his primary concern, before driving off in his BMW 9 series. "I assure you, these replacement teachers are no dummies".
The mannequins were not available for comment
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