Oh man, I hate myself. I am such a phony. Every single way that statement could be taken is a lie. I'm not having a good afternoon at all. I wish I could just be honest with him. Oh no, he's asking what day is it today. I don't know, David Teacher, if that's even your real name. I DON'T KNOW. I know it's a simple exercise. I get what you're saying. Please don't repeat the question. Everyone's staring at me. I have been up since five this morning just crushing my brain with endless lists and rote repetition. I don't even know what ideas are my own and what has been implanted. Now you want me to bring in sequential time period ordering? You're an asshole. Okay, calm down. It's either a Tuesday or a Friday. Today, Mom cried over her rice because the Soju had not been cleared up. Friday then.
"Friday, teacher."
Yeah, yeah yeah. Don't you give me your bullshit congratulations. Just walk on, fat man. Oh man, what time is it? It must be time to go home soon. Forty three more minutes?! Noooooooo! This can't be right. It might not be. The clock looks blurry. Hell, everything looks blurry. Four hours sleep a day makes light tracers around everything. Soooo pretty.
Homework time, huh? You are one sick bastard, David "teacher". It's one thing to make me listen to your voice on MY computer in MY house during MY time. It's messed up that you're talking about things you like to do in your free time. I accept you are all about the cruel and unusual. But making me mark my own work in class? You're a dick, dude. Straight up douchenozzle. So no, no I will not call out the answers with you. This is not a game. This is not a team sport. 'We' are not a team. You are not my captain. You're the enemy. I'd kill you if I thought you had a soul.
Oh thank whatever religion my parents are into. It's over. Now we just have to relax and wait for the bell to... Thirty five more minutes!? How did this not end? Why does Time and Space hate me so much?
Okay. This is awkward. Polar Bear Teacher is looking at me and smiling. What do you want, you foreigner? Wow, am I ... Racist. Nononono, I can't be. I'm Korean. Koreans can't be racist. That's just good science. What does he want? I will express my confusion at the situation and ask if be could repeat the question.
"Teacher?"
Nailed it. He's talking again. Gah. This guy and his words. Read the passage? What passage,dude? I don't even have my book open. Do I have my book? Yes, there it is. Time to look industrious. Open the book and we're turning pages and we're turning pages and there's the last page and we're turning back and we're turning back and we're looking at my neighbor's book and we're turning to that page and done. Made it. How do you like them apples, huh, teacher? Huh? On the right page and everything.
What? You want me to read now? I just turned to the right page. Fine. Work me to death. Come on neighbor point to where we are. Dependable neighbor. Ok' Reliable. I hate you, neighbor.
"Before bed, he enjoys taking a stroll, reading a book and watching television."
What the hell am I reading? Seriously, what are we reading? Is the teacher self promoting? Well done for having so much time free to walk around, read a book and watch TV. You have us in a classroom, it's a beautiful day and boasting about how awesome your life is. That's bullshit. And everyone else is just reading it? Open your eyes, people! He's toying with us!
Oh, a question to answer. What would you like to do in your free time? Pretty ignorant question if you ask me. Which you did. Man, that answer space looks huge. What is that four, five lines? Hang on, would. I see. They are asking what would I do if had free time? Well, at least they acknowledge I have no free time. That's something. Man what would I do? If i had free time? That's a huge question. Fly a dragon right into this academy, have my reptile monster tear you limb from limb, teacher. Eat an ice cream as my neighbor screamed and laugh as his face was covered in filthy foreigner blood. Invent a time in the day when everyone has to stop moving and just hum and the whole world joins in and the sound leaves the atmosphere and aliens hear us and realize that finally, true human unification has occurred and we are ready for them to give us the next evolutionary leap. Sigh. Express that in four or five lines. Unlikely. Here we go. Yeah. That will work. Fat Boy Teacher is looking at you. He must want your answer.
"Sleep."
Good enough.
Man, I sure hope life after kindergarten gets easier.
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