Every year, New Year's Resolutions fail miserably to change a damn thing. People react to their failure with anger, or sadness, or feigned nonchalance.Gym memberships go wanting after the first six weeks. You never learn more than a few chords on the guitar. You continur to leave for wor work in a rush and don't eat a balanced diet.
Here's why, in my opinion.
You don't want any of that crap at all.
You may need it. You may die if you don't do that thing. Quitting smoking is a big deal but you're probably going to smoke again. I am only going by stats. And then you;re going to die. Again, not me, just stats. You may need a better diet, or a steady level of exercise ( or, any exercise) but you'll stop.
No one likes needing to do something. It's an ultimatum, a deal breaker. Humans hate those. When pushed into a metaphysical corner ( one of the worst kinds of corners IMO) we tend to lash out at everything until we are resigned to our fate. Broken. No one wants to be broken.
Want. That's the thing. We are a rare species that has developed a love for our poisons. Very few animals go out of their way to over indulge in things that will kill them. Some, but they are noticeable in their irregularity. Humans want everything. Bigger, faster, compacted, focused. Better.
So maybe we should change the idea from needing to do something to wanting to do something. Make it specific. I have a friend who is in awe of the US arine Corps. SHe realises she is too old and too creaky to do their whole course. She just wants to achieve ten per cent. Women need to do 30 pull ups to enter the marines. There's some other stuff presumably, but this is a thing that washes out fifty per cent of marine applicants. She is aiming to do just three. Good luck to her. I can't do one. Can you? Good for you. I can't.
Make it something specific, and the desire to achieve becomes achievable. Have a more balanced diet? How about not eating McDonalds? Want to get healthier? Take the public transpoirt and not a cab, walk the difference. Want to stop smoking? DON'T BUY CIGARETTES! <-----Seriously, this helps.
Yes, I know these are all tiny things that really won't make a see change. I don't think you need to do that. Right now, you want to make a difference in your lifestyle that will improve your ego. When that is done, then you can improve on that change. Realistically. Systemically. Believably.
You are19 days into your resolution. How is it going and what is the next step?
Hello my friend.
ReplyDeleteI think you are onto something.
I don't agree with your need/ want dichotomy, but I think what you say about small, specific resolutions has a lot to be said for it. A vast vague resolution is soon forgotten, leaving only the dim feeling of failure and inevitability. A SMART resolution (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound) is much more likely to see follow-through. I have added a new dimension to my resolutions: accountability. I keep myself accountable by updating how my resolutions are going weekly (for now - this might become monthly in the future). So far I have been successful. I wish you success as well. Remember, it is not too late to make new resolutions.