The other 1,344,130,000 reasons North Korea is doing nothing

So a couple blogs back, I had a cheerleading moment, espousing the might of the U.S. military and the need for the Northern army to eat. While it was well and good to base all ny 'Pfffft'ing at North Korea on America's ability to Drone them back to the Joseon, I was actually missing a key ingredient.

"Is the key ingredient 'meat'? Seriously, I'm hungry, dude"

While America has been busy having lots of war and getting all the glory (classic Independence Day schtick), North Korea has been playing the rhetoric raise game and winning.  Any time they need something from the West (and South ) they got it. However, they don't get everything from us.

"I got what I needed." I hate you Freshman representing North Korea. HATE YOU! You broke my heart.

The current Chinese leadership have connections with the North. The new Premier of China was working high up in the communist rankings on the border with North Korea .One of the seven in the Poliburo Standing Committee speaks fluent Korean and studied Economics at Pyongyang's Kim Il SUng University.

I was going to make a joke about it being a party college, then found the only pics are of the swimming pool. Holy Shit, Kim Il Sung U is COMPLETELY A PARTY COLLEGE!

Speaking of foreign exchanges, and No, I don't mean a swirling rim job sixtynine with an old Belgian woman by the name of Michelle, I don't know why you would say that, look at the numbers of Chinese people now living in Korea. My friend Rob ( he's cool) said on my Facebook wall that all the Chinese generals and Politburo members send their kids to Korean Universities. Therefore, North Korea would never bomb the south That's not true, though.

 

This is Michelle. Ooh La La

Just over 500,000 Chinese live in South Korea. That is a literal drop in the ocean of China's popularity. population. Also, those Chinese living in South Korea have not been treated so well. They are viewed with suspicion and hostility. Meanwhile all the uber rich and powerful Chinese offspring are in America getting degrees in Harvard.

Like a Boss's Daughter.

All this means China is close to Korea. Chairman Mao described the relationship 'as close as teeth and lips." In 2008, China supplied about 90% of North Korea's oil, 80% of its consumer goods and 45% of its food. Beijing was Pyongyang's only formal military ally and its primary backer in the United Nations Security Council and other diplomatic forums. If it  had not been for the policies set down by Hu Jin Tao from the early 2000s (and the acceptance of that by George Bush), there would be no North Korean missile program and no North Korean nuclear program. 

"George Bush LOVES nukes! Kanye, you're just being mean now!"

Really? Another Katrina Meme? Haven't those people suffered enough?

Fast forward to now. Kim Jong Eun, Or Fatty the Third as Chinese Social Media trolls call him, is held to be responsible for destroying what remains of the relationship.


"The favorable opinion of the Chinese public toward Pyongyang is fading," the Communist Party-affiliated newspaper Global Times cautiously wrote in an editorial Wednesday. It warned that North Korea's "latest provocation is further damaging its reputation and exhausting its future ability to use deterrence strategies."  (LA Times)

"To many in Beijing, North Korea is looking less like a strategic asset and more like a strategic burden," said Cheng Xiaohe, associate professor at Renmin University's School of International Studies.(NBC News)

Look at it, Kim Il Sung University of Pyongyang. LOOK AT IT. It's called a library.

So again, don't worry about it.

Because when China does this,

North Korea will do this,