Day One- Look at the Pwetty rabbit! Yeah yeah yeah. Feed, water blah blah blah. It's basically a caged baby. I know how to look after those for a limited time. Yeah see you. Okay bunny. What's your name? I wasn't paying attention. I'll call you Professor Farthingale, Lord of Cage FIghting Season Five. Ah, my girlfriend has decided to call you BunBun. I see what she did there. Okay, Go. Explore. Mi Casa e Su Casa. Yes, I learnt some Dutch on my travels. Awwwwwwwwwww. You run around so freely. Like a kid in a playground who took some Meth unknowingly. Allegedly. I still say that kid owes me some money.
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| It's cool. You keep that money. Don't hurt me. |
Woah, not cool dude. Do not chew my wires. I said stop! I clearly vocalized my disappointment cum slash irritation. Still you persist in this copper mastication. Heh. Copper mastication would be a good name for a band.
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| better than Cum Slash Irritation, anyways. |
Okay, I'm gonna put you back in the box.
YOU BIT ME! That, sir, is a bunny no no! Shit, where did you go?
Day Two - Oh, Under the bed. Clever girl. Or Boy. What are you? You came back to me, that's all that matters. You are so fwiendly, licking my fingers and my wrist. Aw, you're giving me a hug. Aw, that's....wait...why are you shifting gears like that. Wait, are you fucking my hand? YOU ARE! Way to live up to your stereotype. Fine, do it. OW! No biting! OW! No clawing! This is not the right way for first time love making. Firstly, you did not seduce me. No flowers, no chocolate, no Vanessa Carlton crooning.
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| Okay, anyone else think they called that shit a bit quick? |
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| Just typed in 'Craig's list, clawing, girlfriend, sex" Do not do it. |
Ha. You didn't cum. Fail. Wait, that look you're giving me. Are you blaming me for your sexual inadequacies? You do, don't you? Well, I'm sorry if your lack of romance led to my lack of involvement. Woo me, Professor, woo me!
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| I bought you those tealights for a reason, rabbit! |
Day Three - FInally, the casual part of this staycation. Snuggling with a bunny rabbit and watching a movie. ON the bed, relaxed as hell. <---- can't be a genuine phrase. Hang on, what the hell? Did you , oh Bunbun, you can't just drop a deuce on the bed. I know. I asked. Wait, that's not a deuce. That's a mountain. Have you literally been shitting here the whole way through Superbad? That's a serious critique of Cera's work if ever there was one. This was Hader's best movie ever!
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| It's called Acting, people. |
Hang on. Let me check under the bed. Ah. I see. That sir, is a lot of poop. Well played, rabbit.
Day Four - What is that ripping sound? What is that thumping sound? It all sound very expensive. Rabbit! Chewing the skirting board? Well, the jokes on you. That's where I keep my mold. So, enjoy that. Stop thumping your foot at me. Are you tripping balls from that mold? Well, then, that's on you. Stop staring at me like that.
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| Like that. |
.Stop the thumping. It is quite...intimidating. I'm going out. You better clean up this mess before I come back or worse, my girlfriend wakes up. Yeah, she stayed over. No, you leave her alone. Go trip balls on your side of the room.
Day Six - Yeah , I took a day off...Shit! You killed her! You didn't have to kill her, man! She wasn't coming between us. What are we going to do? What are you.going to do? You did it, man! II was just hanging out at a PC Bang all day. You're the perp. Well, of course the police will see it that way. Of course they will not blame the boyfriend.
I loved her , man. They'll see you, this cute bunny and they'll think....Shit.
I'll get my shovel.
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| "say a word, and I'll kill you." |
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